


Hel

by Precipice



Series: The D'sney Mythos [4]
Category: The Great God Pan - Arthur Machen
Genre: Basically a parody of the Disney song 'Belle', Gen, I REGRET NOTHING
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 19:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15979100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Precipice/pseuds/Precipice
Summary: A parodic retelling of 'The Great God Pan'?A parodic retelling of 'The Great God Pan'.





	Hel

**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 Fragile world -  
Like a fragile bauble...  
Every age  
Like the one before...  
Fragile world,  
Full of fragile people,  
Naive enough to claim...    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK FROM ALL LEVELS OF SOCIETY:**  
 Good day!  
Good day!  
Good day! Good day! Good day!    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 There goes that Herbert with his head in the clouds,  
With so much money to his name.  
Most men are all the same -  
Not the most exciting game  
In this fragile silly world…    
  
**HERBERT:**  
Good day, Miss Vaughan!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
Good day, Mr. Herbert!  
  
**HERBERT:**  
You have a most lovely voice!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
Oh, thank you! Most half-gods do, you know - the sirens and the nymphs and even some satyrs...  
  
**HERBERT:**  
PLEASE MARRY ME!!!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
*shrugs*  
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 Look, there she goes - that girl is queer, no doubt here.  
A devil-dame, a beastly belle!  
Not exactly certain why  
All the men would rather die  
Than live neither close to nor away from Hel.    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 Good day!    
  
**MEYRICK:**  
 Hello!    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 How is your drawing?    
  
**MEYRICK:**  
*drops his sketchbook*  
  
**LORD ARGENTINE:**  
 Hello!    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 Good day!    
  
**LORD ARGENTINE:  
**  How is your wine?    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
*sighs*  
  
**MR COLLIER-STUART:  
** *shopping*  
 I need some rope!    
  
**LORD SWANLEIGH:  
** *also shopping*  
 Do get in line, sir!    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 There must be more to this Victorian age!    
  
**RACHEL:**  
Ah, Hel!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
Good day! I'm here for our stroll!  
  
**RACHEL:**  
Race you to the meadow?  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
Oh, maybe not today. How about someplace else?  
  
**RACHEL:**  
Ha ha! Why not?  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**    
I have a great one in mind. How about... the pillar in the woods!  
  
**RACHEL:**  
The pillar? But we’ve been there twice!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
Well, it's my favorite place in the world! A relic from the Roman Age, when people drank more wine than water, and worshipped strange gods, and died without regrets...  
  
**RACHEL:**  
If you like it so much, then let us go!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**    
Are you sure?  
  
**RACHEL:**  
I insist, even!  
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**    
Oh darling! You will not live to regret it!  
  
**RACHEL:**    
*lives to regret it, but not for long*  
*the 'live' part, that is*  
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 Look there she goes - that girl is so outlandish,  
We wonder where her family’s from;  
What with that hair and that face  
And more money than good sense,  
Such a mystery, such a riddle is that Hel.    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 Oh, I can't help but smile  
When someone's face jumps out at me.  
Sure, he's facing mortal peril  
But only once I'm truly fully done with him.    
  
**A LADY:**  
 Now it's no wonder that her name is Helen -  
the world has fallen at her feet.    
  
**A GENTLEMAN:**  
 But beneath that darling mask  
There's something rather dark;  
She's more than our eyes can meet.    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 Much more than our eyes can meet...  
Yes, more than our eyes can meet, this Hel!    
  
**AUSTIN:**  
For such a carefree fellow, you are quite the shrewd observer, Villers!  
  
**VILLIERS:**  
I can't help it, really.  
  
**AUSTIN:**  
Why, you could be a detective! You could solve crimes and mysteries!  
  
**VILLIERS:**  
Why not, Austin? And I mean it, why not? It's not like there's a lack of neither crime nor mystery in London.  
  
**AUSTIN:**  
Hm! The Westside Horrors?  
  
**VILLIERS:**    
And I even have a suspect! Mrs. Beaumont!  
  
**AUSTIN:**  
But that's...  
  
**VILLIERS:**  
My late friend Herbert's foul thief of a widow!  
  
**AUSTIN:**  
But she's...  
  
**VILLIERS:**  
The vile woman from Meyrick’s sketches!  
  
**AUSTIN:**    
But this is…  
  
**VILLIERS:**  
The mysterious Helen Vaughan from Clarke’s memoirs!  
  
**AUSTIN:**  
Well, now that you've put all these pieces together, it does make sense...  
  
**VILLIERS:**  
 Once I held the threads that lead me to her  
I sensed the vile stench of Hell.  
I shan't let her realm expand!  
We shan’t lose another man!  
Your time is up, I'm sure of that, Miss Hel!    
  
**UNSUSPECTING GENTLEMEN:**  
 Look there she goes,  
Intoxicating...  
Madame Beaumont…  
Oh she's so fine!  
She looked my way -  
I almost fainted!  
She's such a shapely coupe of sparkling wine!    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 Good day!    
  
**VILLIERS:  
**  Excuse...    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 Hello!  
  
Why, yes!...  
  
You call this rope?  
  
What lovely drapes!  
  
... some meat...  
  
... five feet...  
.  
.. to eat!    
  
**VILLIERS:**  
 Good God!    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 I'll get the saw!    
  
**VILLIERS:**  
 Out of my way!    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 The road…  
  
Her door…  
  
… is blocked!  
  
… was locked!  
  
Maybe for you!  
  
Why, I...    
  
**HELEN VAUGHAN:**  
 There must be more to this Victorian age!    
  
**VILLIERS:**  
 By God, I will put this monster in a cage!    
  
**ASSORTED FOLK:**  
 Look there she goes - that girl is gross yet gorgeous!  
A proper Lady, though from Hell!  
It's a wonder and a sin  
That she somehow fits right in,  
'Cause she really is a ghastly girl  
A gorgeous but a ghastly girl  
She really is a ghastly girl  
That Hel!  
Good day!   
Good day!   
Good day! Good day! Good day!  


End file.
